I am Running and Hiding and crying.
My heart is dying, bleeding, screaming.
I hurt so much that I can’t think
I cry so much I can’t see
My ears hurt and feel as if they are bleeding.
My closest friend. My friend who is a sister. The closest one to me has hurt me soo much. No longer do I stand up above the waves. They crash down and tear me on the rocks of lies, hurt, betrayal. I am alone again in the empty sea. No longer do I see the sun for the clouds have covered it and they rain tears of blood. No longer is the sky still; the wind screams at me.
All trust in myself is destroyed for i can not help even my closest friend nor am I helpful or trustworth for my closest friend could not talk to me about these things. Her promsie to me broken.
It was so hard for me when she told me she had been lying to me. Not only did I hurt for myself, but for her. My heart is broken, shattered into tiny pieces that won’t go back together. No matter how hard i try my help doesn’t do anything; all i do is hurt people. every time i try, i fail.
i dont understand why this has happened. i’ve shared all that i am to her. no secret have i kept from her ive shared my happines, my pain, my life, and my trust.
Of all things i have shared my trust the hardest thing in the world for me to share. She knows of my past and my difficulty with trust. i trusted her full heartedly as my friend and sister in God. and yet she threw it away like it was nothing…. I’m so hurt. I feel alone and scared.
The only friend I have has destroyed all that i have. All things are crashing down over my head. I wish i could just disapear.
I want to fall asleep and never wake up.
If someone shot me right now I’d probably thank them.
But I will fight on, I promise that to myself and God. I will not fall completly into darkness. I wont let myself do that again. I will continue to pray and have hope in God.
But i hurt so much right now and I have no one to turn to. I have no one to talk to ,or hug, or just be with. The friend who hurt me was the one I always talked to when I felt down.
I’m alone in a dark wood with a tiny candle that is about to die out. I’m lost and alone and afraid.
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