Can I just fade away into a distant dream. A place with no sadness and no fear. No betrayal, no loss, no pain. What a good day that would be, but as for me I’ll stay here. I’ll fall asleep trying to pray it all away.
I just had a very horrible day, so what did I do? I went onto Facebook to cheer my self up. You know to talk to friends and such. And do you know the first thing I saw when I logged on?
” I’m deleting you, do you want to stop me” - random guy I know
Seriously? Seriously? Piss off world! Piss off!
What do I find in myself when I really look at myself? What do I see at my core? When I look deep inside I see an overwhelm darkness lurking around. It trys to find any crack to seep out. When it does find a crack it rushes through widdening the crack more and more. Suddenly bursting through. Ever now and again the hole is repatched up, but every time the inside becomes weaker and weaker and soon there are only patche left.
When I try to explain how I really feel to people it doesn’t come out right. When I look at myself I see something I don’t understand nor like. And I don’t know how to get to a place where I will actually like what I see. I always feel hurt inside.
I took an AP Psychology class and we learned about Psychological probelms…. Made me feel like something was wrong with me….. I feel like if I took my “mask” off people would see this horrible side of me that is filled with rage and aggression and sorrow. A side of me that has no empathy… Is part of me Antisocial (Sicopath)? It’s a question that lurks inside my head. But I don’t want to go into that… I ….. I think I might be Depressed.